The Story behind The Book
In my early twenties, I went through a personal betrayal that left me reeling for years. A close friend — someone I trusted deeply — was secretly bad-mouthing me to others while sabotaging a project we were working on together and stealing money from me. When I found out, I was devastated. Anger and hurt swirled inside me. I thought, “How could he do this? He ruined everything!” In my mind, I labeled him as “villain” and myself as “victim”, and I started rewriting the story of my life with his betrayal as a central chapter. Perhaps you know the script: I’m this way because so-and-so hurt me. It’s an easy narrative to adopt when we’re in pain.
For a long time, I clung to that narrative. It absolved me of looking at my own mistakes; (I made a few in that project too) and it gave me a clear target to blame for my struggles. But, carrying that story was heavy and disempowering. I felt like I was walking around with an arrow sticking out of my back, constantly reminding me of how I’d been wronged.
It took a lot of time and inner wrestling to realize a difficult truth. After replaying the betrayal in my mind for what felt like the thousandth time, I caught myself mid-rumination and asked: Who’s writing the story of my life right now? Them… or G-d? Or me?”
This isn’t a book of theory. It’s a real-life experiment: “What would happen if I let everything go?” Rabbi Bernath shares himself, and some of his most painful private experiences, throughout the course of the book. Most importantly, he shares how the experiment changed his life in ways he couldn’t predict or understand.. at first.
It’s a work inseparable from its author, like a partial autobiography. Want to get to know the rabbi better? Listen to his podcasts or visit his social media.